TV's What If?
by Dragonsfire867
Summary: Welcome to TV’s brand new reality show, What If! What would the cast of Avatar do if...etc. WARNING: Do not read if you suffer from: dizziness, extreme phobia of chickens, clowns, lawn gnomes, or any bizarre combination of the things mentioned above...
1. Chicken Chaos

Hi everyone! Well, I really enjoy reading little quirky stories about the cast of Avatar being put in awkward situations, so I decided to take a shot at writing one myself. Hope you enjoy it!

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What If?

Host: "Welcome to TV's brand new reality show, What If?, where viewers ask us a question about the cast of Avatar! Today's question is…" (_opens up envelope) _"'What would the cast of Avatar do if we gave them chickens?' Interesting question; let's find out!" (_hands a chicken out to each character)_. "Ok we're gonna give them 5 minutes, and we'll see where we are from there."

Five minutes later…

Aang: (_runs around trying to hop on chicken's back) _"I don't think you can ride chickens!"

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Katara: (_trying to give chicken obedience lessons)_ "C'mon! Why won't you sit!"

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Sokka: (_turning spit handle, watching chicken roasting over fire while drooling profusely) _(Katara: "Sokka, you idiot! You weren't supposed to kill it!")

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Zuko:_ (unsuccessfully trying to teach chicken to chase Aang)_ "Stupid chicken! Go! Get the Avatar!"

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Zhao: (_lights chicken on fire and watched gleefully as it runs around shrieking and burning)_ "Hahahahahaha! This is great!" (_mumbles under breath)_ "If only I could do that to Zuko…"

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Ozai: (_Enraged because chicken will not kneel down before him)_ "Incompetent chicken! You will pay for your insolence!" (_blasts chicken into smithereens_)

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Iroh: _(pours tea for chicken)_ "So, how long have you been married?"

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Jet: _(Furiously interrogates chicken)_ "Listen, foul, if you don't answer all my questions, you're going to be served with leechie nuts on my dinner plate! Are you Fire Nation or not?"

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Haru: _(Showing chicken around)_ "…and this is my father, Tyro." (Tyro to chicken: Nice to meet you…uh, sorry, I didn't catch your name…")

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Cabbage Merchant: _(sitting across from chicken)_ "So, you like cabbages?"

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Momo: _(looking confused)_ What's a chicken?"

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Appa: "Are chickens edible?"

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Host: "Well, that's all for now! We'll be back in an hour to see how everyone's fairing." _(mumbles) _"…though Zhao's and Ozai's chickens don't seem to be doing very well…"

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An hour later…

Aang: _(walks up to Katara holding a very squashed chicken)_ "Hey, Katara. Can I borrow your chicken? Mine's flat."

Katara: Sorry, Aang. My chicken ran off with Zuko's." _(glares at Zuko)_

Zuko: _(sitting on the floor with a frown and arms crossed)_ Knew that was a complete waste of time anyway…"

Katara: "By the way, what happened to yours?"

Aang: _(looking kind of embarrassed)_ "Well, you know that I wasn't sure if chickens were ride-able? Well, they're not."

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Sokka: _(licking fingers)_ "Yup. That's what I call good poultry." (Katara: "I STILL can't believe you killed it...")

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Zuko: _(watching Iroh and chicken, brooding)_ "If Uncle thinks that I'm going to allow that chicken on my ship…"

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Zhao: _(steals Cabbage Merchant's chicken)_ "Ha! My next victim!" _(proceeds to watch as it bursts into flame)_ (Cabbage Merchant: "Nooooooooo! My chicken!")

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Ozai: _(watching blazing remnants of chicken)_ "Maybe next time it'll listen to me…"

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Iroh: _(chatting away with chicken)_ "Oh, having you on our ship is a marvelous idea!" _(shifty eyes)_ "It's only a matter of convincing my nephew…"

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Jet: "OK, chicken. Now that you're an official Freedom Fighter, you get to have your own treehouse."

The Duke in background: "But Jet, we don't have any extra space!"

Jet: "OK, then. You can have his room."

The Duke: "What!"

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Haru: _(slaps hand to face)_ "Sorry, Dad! The chicken just can't earthbend!" (Tyro: _(propping chicken up in preparation for yet another earthbending technique)_ "Just give me three more minutes; I'm sure he'll get it!")

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Cabbage Merchant: _(looking forlorn)_ "First the cabbages, now the chicken…"

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Momo: _(peering at chicken curiously)_ "So, THAT"S what a chicken looks like…"

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Appa: _(has a few feathers stuck to his face while chewing slowly)_ "Hmmm. Tastes just like moon peaches…"

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Host: _(appalled at all the horrible things that have occurred to the chickens)_ Uh…well, things haven't turned out as well as I planned…we've lost five chickens, and one's flat as a pancake, courtesy of Sokka, Zhao, Ozai, Appa, and Aang.

Aang and Sokka: _(looking quite embarrassed)_

Ozai and Zhao: _(Grinning madly)_

Host: _(Still wearing horrified expression)_ Uh… well, I'm your host. Join us next time where we bring an anonymous item from the audience and see how the cast of Avatar reacts to it, on What If?!

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I tried as much as I could add funny stuff, and it's my first shot at an all-around humorous story, so I'd really appreciate reviews as to tell me how I'm doing. Oh, the next one should be out in a couple of weeks...probably after the new episode of Avatar. Thanks for reading! 


	2. Trouble with Toilets

Hola everyone! If you enjoyed the first chapter, then you'll love this one! It's a tad longer, which means MORE FUNNY! The end's the best part! This one ties back to the first chapter, by the way…so read it before you read this one. Well, here's Chapter 2!

* * *

What If?

Host: "Hi, and welcome to TV's hottest new show, What If?! The question for today is 'What if the cast of Avatar was given an anonymous item and left to react to it?' Well, we're going to give each character from Avatar the unknown item, which has generously been supplied to us by the audience." _(points to a row of boxes)_ "These are our items! Keep in mind that the cast of Avatar does not recognize what they are, so no shouting out." _(points to audience)_ "That means YOU! OK, first box goes to…Aang! Then Katara! Sokka! Zuko!..." _(yells out other names)_ "OK, then. Now that everyone has a box, let's get started!"

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Aang: _(extracts a ceramic toilet seat from box and pulls it over his head)_ "Whoa. What is this thing? Some kind of weird hat?"

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Katara: _(turning it upside-down and looking at it)_ "What's this hole for? Waterbending?"

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Sokka: _(stomach rumbling)_ "So hungry..." _(looks in box at toilet seat)_ "Oh, man, you can't eat it!"

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Zuko: _(holding toilet seat and smirking)_ "Maybe I can use it to capture the Avatar…"

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Zhao: _(grasping seat while grinning maliciously)_ "Maybe it's used for torture…" _(glances at Zuko)_ "Ooh, I _like_ this…"

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Ozai: _(holds up toilet seat for all to see)_ "Ah ha! From now on, this shall be the new Fire Nation insignia! Feared by all!"

_(audience giggles)_

Aang: "What are they laughing at? Is my hair sticking up funny or something?"

Katara: "Aang, you don't _have_ hair…"

Aang: _(cheeks turn red)_ "Oh, right…"

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Iroh: "Oh, this white, ceramic, basin-shaped thing is quite fascinating!" _(looks closely at toilet seat)_ "I wonder if it holds tea…"

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Jet: _(interested)_ "This might make a great present for my new feathered Freedom Fighter." _(The Duke in background: I STILL can't believe you gave the chicken my room…")_

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Haru: _(inspecting toilet seat)_ "Hey Dad, what are we supposed to do with it?" _(Tyro: "I don't know, maybe…throw it at firebenders?")_

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Koko to Aang Fan Club: "Look!" _(points at Aang, who's rearranging the toilet seat on his head)_ "Aangy's setting a new trend!" _(Rest of the Aang Fan Club: Ooooooh….")_

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Momo: _(peering curiously at toilet seat)_ "Ooh, this is even more interesting than the chicken…"

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Appa: _(groaning uncomfortably)_ "Oh, I KNEW I shouldn't have eaten that chicken…feathers just don't agree with my stomach…" _(glances at toilet seat) _"…at least this thing is plucked and ready to go…"

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Host: Well, I don't know about you, but I'm getting a good laugh at what's going on. Well, we'll be seeing them all again in about..." (_looks at watch)_ "Oh, say…an hour. So stay tuned to see what happens!"

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An hour later…

Host: Well, we're back! Let's see how everyone is doing."

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Aang: _(fumbling around with toilet seat, which happens to still be on his head)_ "Well, I can now safely assume that this is DEFINITELY not a hat…" _(tries to pull it off his head)_ "Hey, it's stuck!" _(desperately trying to tug his head out of the toilet seat)_ ! "I can't get it off! HELPPPP!"

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Katara: (still confused as to what it's used for) "I know it has _something_ to do with water, but what?" _(sees Aang struggling with the steadfast toilet seat)_ "Hold on, Aang; I'm coming!" _(rushes over to help)_

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Sokka: _(vacantly chewing on the edge of the toilet seat while staring into space)_ "Fooddd……..."

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Zuko: _(looking it over angrily, believing it to be a high-tech tracking device)_ "Where's the button on this thing!"

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Zhao: _(hurls toilet seat at Zuko's head while grinning evilly) _

Zuko: _(toilet seat collides with the back of his head)_ "Owww!"

Zhao: "Hee hee…this is _fun_…"

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Ozai: _(running around holding toilet seat high in the air)_ "Fear the power of this awesome and mighty object! FEAR IT!"

_(audience laughing)_

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Iroh: "Hmmmmm…." _(rearranging some newly found mosaics on toilet seat)_ "There. Finished!" _(glances over at Zuko, who's scrabbling with his own toilet seat)_ "Prince Zuko! Look- my very own tea holder!"

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Jet: _(studying toilet seat)_ "If we had more of these, we might be able to use them to attack the nearby Fire Nation village…." _(looks over at chicken)_ "What do you think?" _(chicken blinks)_

The Duke in background: "Jet, I really don't think-"

Jet: "Nobody asked you!"

The Duke: "But Jet-"

Jet: "If you bother me one more time, I'm going to give the chicken your privileges as a permanent Freedom Fighter!"

The Duke: "Nooooooooo!"

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Haru: _(playing a game of beanbag toss with the toilet seat and some rocks)_ "Hey, Dad- look! I made up a game that we can play!" _(Tyro: "I _really_ don't think that's what it's used for…")_

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Koko and Aang Fan Club:_ (walking around with toilet seats on their heads) _"Look, Aang! A new fashion!"

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Momo:_ (sniffing toilet seat curiously) _"Hmmmmm….."

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Appa: _(eating toilet seat)_ "Munch…munch munch…"

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Zuko: "By the way, where did you get those mosaics?"

Iroh: "From my sleeve, where I put the lotus tile when we were chasing the Avatar."

Zuko: "What! You mean to say that you knew where the lotus tile was the ENTIRE TIME?"

Iroh: _(looking away)_ "Maybe…"

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Host: "Well, there you have it! This is what the cast of Avatar does with …" _(to camera man)_ "Should I say it?" _(camera man nods)_ "…a toilet seat!"

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Sokka: _(stops chewing on toilet seat) _"What!"

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Ozai and Zhao: "What!" _(Ozai is still holding up toilet seat)_

Aang: "So _that's_ why they were laughing…"

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Sokka: _(hides chewed-up toilet seat behind his back) _"I knew that…"

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Aang: _(continues to run around with toilet seat still attached to his head)_ "I told you it wasn't a hat!"

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Zuko: _(blows up)_ "WHAT! NO WONDER THERE WEREN"T ANY BUTTONS!"

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Katara: _(holding toilet seat)_ "So the hole IS used for waterbending!"

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Momo: _(scratching head)_ "What's a toilet seat?"

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Appa: "Oh well…" _(continues chewing)_

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Host: _(laughing)_ "Now THAT's what I call humorous!" _(Ozai and Zhao come running up with flaming fists)_

Zhao: "You're going to pay for this!"

Ozai: "Yeah! What he said!"

Host: _(horrified) _"You can't do that! This is public television!"

Zhao: "Well, it's going to become a public assassination!"

Host: _(runs)_ "Aaaaggghhhhhhhh!" Security! Security!"

_(Furbies with flamethrowers, machine guns, and snipers come running into view)_ "Furbie KILL YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

(Zhao and Ozai start running) "Aaaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! They're coming! The furbies are coming! Run for your lives!"

_(everyone starts screaming and running around)_

Host: _(very narrowly escapes getting trampled by a ten-ton bison, then dodges a flying Avatar with a toilet seat on his head)_ "Well, folks, that's all the time we have for today! Join us next time on- Oomph!" _(Aang comes shooting back into view and knocks the host over)_

_(Sokka comes tearing through the crowd with his pants on fire) _"AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH! I've been hit! I'VE BEEN HIT!"

Host: _(hurriedly rushing through end of speech and watching out for flying airbenders amidst all the chaos)_ "HopeyouenjoyedtheshowjoinusnextweekonWhatIfBYE!"

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Whooo! That was SOOOOOO much fun to write! Hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I did writing it. Well, the next one may be about jobs or clothing or somethin'…I'm not sure yet. Thanks to Blaze83 for giving me the ingenious idea about furbies (though I've always hated those crazy rabid things anyways; my friend had a furbie that she took the batteries out of, and in the middle of the night, it started talking from inside her closet! I swear, those things are EVIL!) Anyway, see you guys!


	3. Occupation Provocation

Hi, everyone! I really have no important news to spread around, except, uh, that the Fortune Teller was the best episode EVER! For those of you who haven't seen it, I STRONGLY advise you to go and watch it THIS INSTANT! Or, uh, whenever the next one's playing on TV...he...

Oh, and for anyone interested in adventure stories with bits of humor, go read my story, False Realities and Worlds Collided. Or you can go and read We Are All One, which is a more serious piece. I swear, I posted it a week ago, and so far, I've gotten like 1 hit! Nobody's read it yet….pooey. I worked so hard on it too….Well, uh, here's the next chapter.

* * *

What If?

Host: _(beaming with a slight burn on cheek)_ "Welcome to today's show of What If?! Luckily, our little incident from last week has been resolved." _(glances over at furbies in straightjackets and various audience members with casts and crutches)_ "Anyways, our question for today is…" _(reads off of paper)_ "…what if the cast of Avatar was given jobs?" _(gives each character a folded piece of paper) _"OK, you can open them!"

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Katara: _(unfolds her paper)_ "Sports mascot? I don't think so!"

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Sokka: _(opens up slip)_ "A clown? WHAT? This isn't fair!"

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Aang: _(reads out loud)_ "Professional pie-eating contest participant. That's…um…interesting."

Sokka: _(looks over at Aang)_ "Oh, man! Why couldn't I have gotten that job?"

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Zuko: _(stares at opened paper, which says 'Lunch Lady')_ "Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me…"

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Ozai: _(glaring furiously at paper)_ "NO! I absolutely refuse! NO ONE TELLS ME TO BE A CHEERLEADER!"

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Zhao: _(smirks off into space after reading what's on the paper and snickers evilly)_

"Ice-cream man doesn't sound too bad, especially if it means I can terrify little children…"

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Meng: _(reads)_ "Ooh! I'm a pie-server!" _(glances over at Aang and smiles slyly) _"THAT means I get to be with _Aang_…"

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Iroh: _(strokes beard thoughtfully after reading slip)_ "Belly dancer….hmmm…….I always wanted to be in the exotic dancing business…."

_(staff member runs up to Iroh hurriedly and grabs his paper)_ "Uh, sorry, sir. That wasn't supposed to be yours. Here." _(hands Iroh another piece)_

Iroh: _(reads ''racecar driver' off of paper)_ "Darn…"

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Appa: _(looking at small paper lying on the ground)_ "Blimp? That's not a job!"

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Momo: _(holding slip)_ "Anyone know what a bus driver is?"

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Suki: _(reading content)_ "Plumber? Who wrote this? Ooh, they're going to regret that they messed with a girl…"

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Canyon Guide: "A mailman? Ridiculous! You kiddies couldn't think of a better one?"

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Host: "Well, things are going well so far…" _(looking back at enraged, furious, unbelieving characters holding their pieces of paper angrily)_ "Well, after everyone is settled into their new jobs, we check on how things are turning out…I just hope another outbreak doesn't occur…" _(looking _very_ carefully at Ozai and Zhao)_

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An hour later...

Katara: _(dressed up in a plush hog outfit)_ "This is insane! Why did I have to be Plushie the Pig for the Pink Piggies!" _(basketball team looks at her, who apparently happen to be the "Pink Piggies'")_

Aang: _(desperately trying to cheer her up) _"Don't worry, Katara, you actually make a great Piggy!"

Katara: "Thanks, Aang." _(then realizes what he said)_ "Hey!"

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Sokka: _(dressed up as a clown, make-up and everything, whispering under breath crossly)_ "mumble…mumble…they're going to pay for this…"

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Aang: _(slumped in a chair with a full stomach)_ "…can't…eat….another bite…."

Sokka: _(very eagerly)_ "Aang, I'll switch jobs with you if you want!"_ (little kid comes running up to Sokka and tugs on his outfit)_

Kid: "Mr. Clown, do something with your big funny ears!"

Sokka:"…….….….."

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Zuko: _(wearing a similar expression to Sokka's while dishing food out to a lunch line and dumping greasy 'tuna surprise' onto a kid's plate, AND wearing an official "Lunch Lady" hair-net)_ "You want rice or mashed potatoes?"

Little kid in background: Who knew? A lunch lady who's a GUY?"

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Ozai: _(energetically jumping up in the air in a cheerleader's outfit and doing straddle-splits)_ "I like to do Agni-Kai! Some get hurt and others die! ...Gooooooo Ozai!"

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Zhao: (_sitting in an ice cream truck and throwing ice-cream cones at little children, while they run screaming away)_ "Hahahahaha! That's right! Keep running!" (throws more ice cream cones and rubs hands together) "Now THIS is what I call a fun job!"

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Iroh: _(driving crazily in a race car)_ "Whoo hoo! This is so much fun! I can't believe I wanted to do belly-dancing instead of this!"

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Meng: _(placing more pies in front of Aang, who looks ready to explode)_ "Here you go, Aang…" _(bats eyelashes)_

Aang: _(sees pies)_ "Aggggggghhhhhh! No more! NO MORE!"

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Appa: _(sitting on ground leisurely while ten people proceed (vainly, I might add) to push him onto his feet)_ "No NO NO! I am not going flying around as some newscaster's personal flying balloon!"

TV workman: _(trying to push)_ "You'll get paid in moon peaches…."

Appa: _(full attention)_ "Moon peaches?"

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Momo: _(driving bus rather maniacally with shrieking kids in the back)_ "Whoa! HOW DO YOU STEER THIS THING?"

Little Girl sitting in backseat: "Aaaggghhhhhhhhh! Look out for that-"

_(bus collides with motionless Appa, who looks blandly at the crushed school vehicle)_

Little Girl: "…blimp."

Appa: "WHAT? THAT'S IT! Not even moon peaches are gonna get me to do this job!"

Momo: _(listening curiously)_ "Did you say _moon peaches_?"

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Suki: _(sulkily rummaging in sewage tank) _"This bites! Whoever made me do this is going to pay dearly…."

Sokka in background: _(holding nose)_ "Ewwwwww……"

Suki: "Oh, shut your mouth, CLOWN!"

Sokka: _(still wearing clown-costume) _"Hey! This is a respectable and much revered job! At least I don't smell like shi-"

_(flying gob of 'you-know-what' hurtles toward his face from Suki's direction)_

Sokka:_ (incredibly revolted and disgusted, pulling the stuff out of his little red clown wig and off his face)_ "EWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Suki: _(looking very pleased with herself)_ "Who says you don't smell like –BEEP-?"

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Canyon Guide: _(running away from barking dog while grasping envelopes, big hole in seat of pants) _"Aaagghhhh! It's coming back for me! It's had a taste, and it's coming BACK FOR ME!"

Psychotherapist: _(sadly shaking head)_ "He's never fully recovered from that incident with the canyon crawlers…"

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Host: _(looking around at the various events going around)_ "The day didn't turn out too badly for once!" _(looks at Zhao, who's proceeding to throw ice cream cones at little kids and Zuko's head)_ "Well, except for that. But otherwise, it's been a pretty relaxing, nice -"

_(TV guy comes running in rapidly)_ "I have HORRIBLE news! One of the furbies just got loose!"

Host: _(looking fearful)_ "OH NO!"

_(huge explosion from behind the audience)_

_(everyone looks back, terrified)_

Host: _(looks carefully, identifies the small object, then realizes what it is)_ "Oh god. That's not a furbie, it's a……LAWN GNOME! AGGGHHHHHHHH!"

_(Everyone goes crazy again)_

_(A massive army of lawn gnomes comes marching into view, carrying chemical warfare machines, riding tanks, and holding nuclear bombs)_

Some guy from the audience: _(runs up from the screaming and turmoil)_ "THEY'VE COME! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Sokka: _(still wearing his clown costume, running around shrieking at the top of his lungs)_ "THE MADNESS MUST END! AAAGGGHHHHHHHH!"

Meng: _(clasping onto the distended Aang for dear life)_ "Save me!"

Aang: "Ughhhhh….too overstuffed…"

Zhao: _(stands up triumphantly) _"Ah haa! This is my chance!" (starts hurling ice-cream cones at Zuko)

Zuko: _(trying desperately to pull the smashed frozen desserts off of his face)_ "WILL YOU STOP ALREADY?"

Canyon Guide: _(crawling away from gigantic army of lawn ornaments)_ "Aaaagggghhhhhh! They're even more horrible than the canyon crawlers! Aaaggghhh! Those pointy hats! Those white gnome-ish beards! Those deceivingly innocent happy smiles! They're TERRIFYING!"

Host:_ (falls to knees, fists toward the sky)_ "My show! It's RUINED!"

_(lawn gnome waddles up and flings wailing host over it's shoulders)_

Host: "AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

_(show falls to pieces)_

Host: _(being dragged farther and farther away)_ "I SHALL MISS ALL OF YOU! FAREWELL! HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW WHILE IT LASTED!"

_(lawn gnome throws host on the ground, who cringes)_

Appa: _(still not moving)_ "Well, this is getting rather old…" _(lawn gnomes come up and try to lift him off the ground)_ "Sorry guys, this butt ain't movin'!"

Zhao: "TAKE THE POWER OF THE MIGHTY ICE-CREAM CONE! TAKE IT!" _(chucks ice-cream in the direction of gnomes)_ "VANILLA IS POWER! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Zuko: _(blasts fireballs at approaching gnomes) _"Well, _this_ lunch lady is NOT going to take attitude from puny lawn ornaments!" _(several gnomes burst into flame)_

_(racecar zooms across the set and hits a few gnomes)_

Iroh: _(from inside the car, looking out at the smashed ceramic ornaments) _"Oops…"

_(shrieking clown pops into view)_ "AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

Katara: _(runs up in piggy suit and grabs fallen microphone while smacking a sniggering furbie with a straightjacket in the face)_ "We'll see you all next time on What If?!"

* * *

Oh My GOD! I just realized that the Fire Lord's little routine rhymes perfectly! Agni-Kai, Die, Ozai! YAY! 

OK, peoples! I feel like doing an interactive episode, so if you guys can submit ideas for what I should write my next chapter about, I'll take the very best one and use it in my next What If? show! And don't worry, I promise to give you credit for your idea- it doesn't even have to be about an item or job; anything you can think of! Some people already gave me some suggestions, but I want to see if you guys have any more (I might even combine some). Well, check ya later!


	4. Wild Weather Watchers

Chapter 4 is up! The main news that I want to discuss is that Bato of the Water Tribe is playing Friday, October 7th! Yay! I looooove new episodes! I'm telling you guys, you HAVE to watch it!

* * *

TV's What If

Host: "Hi everyone, and I welcome you all to today's show of What If?! Well, the question for today is 'What might happen if the cast of Avatar was given energy-boost smoothies and left to do Weather Watch, live on Saturday-nite Live?'. Well, we're going to find out! Bob?" _(motions to off-screen TV guy)_ "Can you get the smoothies?"

_(large cart is pushed into view, differently–colored drinks on top)_

"Perfect. Thanks, Bob." _(grins and waves) _"Now, Bob, can you get the green-screens?"

_(several screens are wheeled in)_

"OK, the every character from Avatar gets a green-screen and their very own smoothie, made courteously by Jean Baring." _(sniffs and waves overat a middle-aged woman sitting in the audience)_ "I love you, Mom!" _(sniffles)_ "OK! Cast members, take your smoothies and screens!" _(everyone runs over and grabs one of each, Sokka and Zhao fighting over the pink-colored one) _

Sokka: "Hey, that's MY smoothie! Go get your own!"

Zhao: "No way, ponytail boy! I claim the strawberry-flavored one!"

_(both tugging at the drink when Aang runs up and tries to separate them)_

Aang: "Come on, guys! Why don't you just split the smoothie?"

Zhao: "It's none of your business, baldie!" _(knocks Sokka over and holds smoothie in air triumphantly)_ "Ha! I win!"

Host: _(rolls eyes)_ "Idiots…now, ACTION!"

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Aang: _(slurps smoothie thoughtfully while standing in front of green-screen)_ "OK…um, hi! I'm your host, Aang!" _(mumbles under breath)_ "Oh, I stink at this kinda stuff…well, uh… tonight we should be experiencing some light showers, and uh…" _(smoothie kicks in)_ "Massivethunderstormsyeah! Andearthquakes! Andvolcanoes! Andmeteorsthatfalloutoftheskyandblowuptheworld! Andandandanandandandand…"

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Katara: _(standing in front of screen, smiling and drinking)_ "Ooh, I've always wanted to be a meteorologist! This is going to be so much fun." _(smoothie's powers go to work)_ "OH MY GOSH! You know what I can do? THIS!" _(does cartwheels)_ "Whooo! This is so much FUN!"

Sokka: "Katara, you're supposed to be doing the _weather_!"

Katara: "Right! Because I'm…" _(throws chest out)_ "…WEATHER WOMAN!"

Sokka: _(slaps himself in the face)_ "Ughhh…"

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Sokka: _(turns around and looks at green-screen while sipping power-boost drink)_ "Soooo…uh…like Aang said…" _(looks at crazed Avatar bouncing around excitedly)_ "…there are going to be some showers, and…"_ (smoothie takes effect while listening to Aang's hyperactive and ridiculously nutty weather reports)_ "OH MY GOSH! THE WORLD IS GOING TO BLOW UP? AAAGGGGHHHH!" _(curls up in fetal position under nearest table and trembles)_ "Waaaaaaaa! Mommy! I want my mommy! I WANT MY MOMMY!"

Zhao: _(snickers evilly and uses advantage of teenage boy's fragile condition)_ "Sorry, but Mommy's dead!"

Sokka: _(bursts into tears because of Zhao's taunting and overwhelming smoothie-power)_ "WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

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Zuko: _(not looking very pleased about having to do the weather)_ "I don't care about what's it's like outside…"

_(TV guy motions to him, threatening to strangle him if he doesn't do it)_

Zuko: _(sighs unhappily and scowls)_ "Fine. Today there is a sixty-percent chance of a thunderstorm…" _(smoothie kicks in, Zuko can't stand still)_ "…what's going on? I can't control myself!" _(starts jumping around while awkwardly trying to control himself)_ "WHAT? No! Stop! STOP!"

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Zhao: _(strutting in front of green-screen and mumbling under breath)_ "Boy do I look good. I'm the best-looking weatherman ever to walk the planet!" _(smoothie takes effect and Zhao starts singing and pumping arms)_ "Yeah! I feel good! Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh! I knew that I would! Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh…."

-----------------------

Ozai: _(taking the job as an opportunity to scare viewers everywhere)_ "Meteors are going to plummet down from the sky, and at the rate they're falling, they'll drill through your flimsy skulls as if they were made of wet toilet-paper!" _(smoothie takes a toll, Ozai starts running around crazily)_ "Wheeeeeee! FUN! Yay meteors!"

Zuko: _(still having a difficult time keeping himself to stand still while staring disdainfully at his father)_ "Oh my god. And I used to look up to that guy?"

-----------------------

Iroh: _(looking at audience while sipping smoothie)_ "Hi! Since my nephew is having some difficulties…" _(glances at Zuko who is trying to hold his arms and legs in one place, instead they're flailing every which way)_ "…I shall do the weather for him." _(power-boost and Iroh gets all distracted)_ "Ooh, look! Knee socks!" _(rushes over to a multi-colored pair lying randomly on the floor, probably left over from a previous show)_ "Look how magnificently knitted they are!" _(holding up socks, grinning from ear to ear)_

--------------------

Aunt Wu: _(stands in front of screen and slurps smoothie)_ "I don't need to guess what the weather will be like; I already know." _(power-boost, Aunt Wu runs over to host and pokes arm)_ "WANNA KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TIME OF DAY YOU'RE GONNA DIE?" _(dashes around madly with hands in the air)_ "WHEEEEEEEE!"

---------------------

Meng: "Ummmmm, today's going to be nice and cool…maybe nice enough to take Aang on a picnic…he…" _(the Power of the Smoothie strikes again!)_ "AANG! AANG!" _(tears over to where the hyper airbender is bouncing off the walls)_ "SEE ME? HEE!" _(starts energetically racing around)_ "HI AANG!" _(boing, boing)_ "AANG!" _(boing)_ "DOING THE WEATHER IS FUN!" _(boing boing boing)_

Koko: _(to Meng)_ "Ooh, wanna join the Aang Fan Club?"

Meng: _(still hyperactively bouncing around, but now wearing a wide-eyed expression) _"THERE"S A CLUB? YAAAAYYYYYYY!" _(boing)_

---------------------

Host: _(beaming happily)_ "Well, everything's going quite well! For once…" _(shifty eyes)_ "Sooooo, as long as things keep going the way they look, today might actually turn out to be a good show! No lawn gnomes, no nothing…" _(screeching in background from tied up ceramic lawn ornaments)_ "We'll be checking up in an hour to see how everything's going…the smoothies' effects should be at their peak at that time, too…see you all in a little while!"

---------------------

An hour later…

Aang: _(zooming across the set with unbelievable speed, still giving ridiculous weather reports)_ "Ohmygosh! There'sgonnabeatsunami! Andtheoceansaregonnadryup! Andthosemeteorsareheadingtowardtheearth! Andanuclearwar! And…"

Host: "Wars don't count as weather, sorry…"

Aang: _(jumping around crazily)_ "OKthen! THere'saHUGEhurricaneYEAH! AndMt.Kapukuisgonnaeruptagain! Andeveryone'sgonnadie! Andandandand…"

Zuko in background: _(desperately trying to stay still)_ "Will you SHUT UP ALREADY?"

--------------------

Katara: _(has taken a towel, tied it around her neck, and is wearing spandex underwear over her outfit, with a big sign over her chest saying "Weather Woman") _"I AM WEATHER WOMAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL WHEN IT COMES TO BAD WEATHER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" _(seriously off her rocker)_ "LET THE POWER OF THE WEATHER WOMAN RULE THE WORLD! AHAHAHAHA!"

Host in background: _(looking doubtful)_ "Maybe we gave her too _much_ of that smoothie…?"

--------------------

Sokka: (hiding under table and rocking back and forth, still believing Aang's outrageously screwy weather reports) "We're gonna die! WE"RE GONNA DIE!"

Host in background: "Maybe we gave _both_ of them too much smoothie…?"

---------------------

Zuko: _(desperately trying to gain control of himself while floundering around frantically) _"Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!"

Sokka: _(still curled up) _"MOMMMMMMYYYYYYY!"

Zuko: _(on the verge of going insane)_ "_SHUT UP_!"

----------------------

Zhao: _(finds a spork lying on the ground and chucks it at the emotionally disturbed and frenzied Zuko)_ "HEEEEEEEEE!" _(misses, and Zuko goes running in the opposite direction)_

Zuko: "_STOP IT_!"

---------------------

Ozai: _(whizzing around frantically like practically everyone else)_ "Whoooo! Meteors!"

----------------------

Iroh: _(picks up fallen spork and looks at it wonderingly)_ "Who would have thought of such a thing? A cross between a spoon and a fork? INGENIOUS!"

----------------------

Aunt Wu: _(tearing around telling people very disturbing things about their futures)_ "In three years, YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED BY AN EARTHQUAKE! And you!" _(runs after an audience member who's obviously trying to stay away from her)_ "WANNA KNOW WHAT"S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU AFTER YOUR CHILDREN ARE KILLED BY FALLING METEORS?"

Sokka: _(hysterical)_ "AGGGGHHHHHH! SO THERE _ARE_ GOING TO BE METEORS!"

----------------------

Meng: _(hyperactively bouncing alongside Koko as both of them chant)_ "AANG! AANG!" _(boing)_ "AANG! AANG!" _(boing boing)_ "AANG!"

Koko: "Go Aangy!"

Meng: "This is so much fun!" _(boing)_

-----------------------

Host: _(staring at Sokka, who's cowering under the table, Iroh, who's wearing rainbow-colored knee socks and playing with a plastic spork, and the rest, who are all zooming around crazily)_ "Great! Today's show was a success! Well, hope you enjoyed today's episode! Next week, we'll be doing something a little different…so tune in next time, on TV's What If!"

Aang: _(zips up)_ "WaitIhaveanannouncement!"

Host: _(sighs)_ "Ugh, what is it?"

Aang: "BEWAREOFTHEFALLINGMETEORS!"

Sokka: _(lets out a girly scream from under the table)_ "Meteors! METEORS!"

Host: _(slaps face)_ "Just tune in next time, OK? I'm your host, and I hope you enjoyed today's show of What If!

* * *

Whew. Finished! That was a boozie to write- I got writer's block in the very middle of it! OK, I'd like to thank Blaze83 for her wonderful idea about the energy-boost smoothies, Monkeybait for the "knee-socks" idea AND the "severe storm" ideas (though I sort of improvised offa it), Eve (and Blaze83) for the sporks, and everyone else who contributed to the ideas. You guys are great! And for those who's incredibly fabulous ideas weren't used this time, I'll try to squeeze them in in some episode... 

Oh, for Luna45, I PROMISE to use your idea in the future…toodles!


	5. Rubber Duck and Things Amuck

Hi everyone! Anyone see the newest episode, Bato of the Water Tribe? I did, and was slightly disappointed. The Nick Studios made Iroh look like a total pervert, and the animation wasn't nearly as good as the previous eppie. I figured out why every other one had good animation; they must have two animators, and while one is working on the current one, the other is drawing for the next show. (Meaning that the next one, premiering on October 21st, is going to have better animation. Whoo!) I personally like the one who did The Fortune Teller better. Anyone with me?

OK, I have to warn you before you read; this chapter is packed a lot more with dialogue than the previous one. The characters are going to be interacting more, partly because I can fit more funny into it, and partly because most people pair up (not love connections- don't worry- I meant buddy systems) when they're at the place this eppie is located…

* * *

TV's What If?

Host: _(standing in front of hotel in middle of amusement park, people everywhere) _"Hi again, everyone! Welcome to the…I can't believe I'm saying it…the 5th show of What If! Today's a special day, because we're sending the cast of Avatar to…" _(grand pause)_ "…Six Flags Great Adventure Theme Park!"

Aang: _(looking confused)_ "Uh, what are we supposed to do here?"

Host: "This is the hottest way to spend the day! People come from all over to have fun and get thrills. You can ride on roller coasters, go into the haunted houses, eat…"

Sokka: _(suddenly VERY perky)_ "Eat?"

Aang: _(unsure)_ "OK…so we just walk around and ride the things?"

Host: "That's right! Just go and enjoy yourselves. And don't hold back about being weird or anything…" _(mumbles under breath)_ "…because we're getting it all on tape anyways…"_ (suddenly all smiley again)_ "Soooo, let's get started!"

--------------------------

Aang: _(looking around curiously)_ "Wow, this place is huge! And look at all those people." _(watches group to see how many people they can fit in a porter-potty)_

Random person: "Hey, kid! Wanna see if we can squeeze you in?"

Aang: _(happily)_ "Sure!" _(jams in with the other 15 people who are already bursting out of the porter potty)_

-------------------------

Katara: _walking and looking around, sees Aang's head sticking out from all the jumbled bodies visible through the potty door)_ "Aang, what are you DOING in there?"

Aang: _(getting flatter by the second)_ "Trying to see how many people can fit into this thing! Wanna try?"

Katara: _(looking surprised) _"Um, no…"

Random guy who invited Aang in: "Whoo! Nineteen people! NEW RECORD!"

_(cheering from inside the porter potty and everyone surrounding it)_

Random Guy: Yeah! New goal! How about thirty?"

Aang: _(squished in between two enormous butts)_ "WHAT?"

------------------------

Sokka: _(walking around nonchalantly and glancing at the rides on either side of the walking area)_

_(The Disney character, one we all love (well, except me- I'm scared of him), Donald Duck, comes waltzing over to the unexpecting Sokka and quacks at him)_

Sokka: "Aagggghhhhh! GIANT DUCK!" _(goes running away as fast as his legs will carry him, onlookers snickering)_

----------------------

Zuko: _(scowling darkly)_ "This is a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME! I don't _need_ fun- I just want to capture the Avatar…" _(glances at Aang, whose head is visible inside the porter potty, amidst muddled bodies)_

----------------------

Zhao: _(watching little kids playing nearby)_ "Oooh, perfect! They're all alone…" _(laughs evilly)_

-----------------------

Ozai: _(playing at one of the game booths, trying to knock the pins down with fireballs)_ "Hahahahaha! Take that!" _(pins fall down, and guy who runs tent walks up with a concealed prize and singed hair)_

Guy: "Here! Just take the prize and be gone!" _(places prize in front of Ozai, cautiously backing away, head still smoking)_

Ozai: _(looks at it)_ "It's a …rubber duck. Aha! It shall burn!" _(proceeds to light it on fire but stops, picks it up)_

_(Rubber duck squeaks)_

Ozai: _(trying to look away from its adorableness)_ "Must…fight…awesome cuteness…agh…cuteness…winning…"

------------------------

Iroh: _(runs up to Zuko and says something)_

Zuko: _(storming ahead of Iroh, fuming)_ "NO, UNCLE! I don't want to go on the roller coaster with you!"

Iroh: _(pointing excitedly at a roller coaster)_ "Ooh, how about this one? It's called…"_ (reads sign)_ "…Kingda Ka."

Zuko: "No."

Iroh: "Please?"

Zuko: "NO!"

Iroh: "Oh well. It is disappointing to know that my nephew is too scared…"

Zuko: "I'm not scared!"

Iroh: "Then come on the roller coaster with me!"

Zuko: _(slaps self in face)_ "Ughhh…fine!"

Iroh: "Excellent!"

_(board coaster)_

Iroh: _(waiting for ride to start)_ "I wonder how fast this ride goes…." _(jumps from 0-128 miles per hour in three seconds)_

Both Iroh and Zuko: "AAAGHHHHHHH!"

----------------------

Herbalist: _(walking around with Miyuki, carrying a bag of frozen wood frogs)_ "Wood frogs! Wood frogs! Get your frozen wood frogs here! Only ten copper pieces a bag!"

Host: _(sidles over to Herbalist)_ "Uh, sorry, but people here don't use copper pieces; they use dollars."

Herbalist: _(cackles) _"Ahahaha! So…you want to buy a bag or what?"

-----------------------

Bato: _(walking down a street)_ "Interesting…"_ (sees Sokka huddling in a corner, runs up to help him)_ "Sokka, are you OK?"

Sokka: (_wide-eyed, curled up in fetal position)_ "The ducks! THE GIANT DUCKS! They're coming to EAT me!"

-----------------------

Host: "Wow! No disaster so far! Great!" _(watches Iroh and Zuko on roller coaster, Iroh with hands up in the air, Zuko tightly clasping his seat for dear life)_ "Well, we'll be checking up with everyone in an hour…NO! I don't want your WOOD FROGS!"

Herbalist: _(sauntering off with bag)_ "You know, they don't stay frozen forever!"

Host:_ (clearly exhausted) _"OK…see you all in an hour…"

-----------------------

One hour later…

Aang: _(gasping for air in between the two enormous fannies and now many more)_ "…can't breathe…lungs…collapsing….ughhh…."

Katara: "Aang? …Are you Ok?"

_(silence)_

Katara: "…Aang?"

-----------------------

Sokka: _(slowly recovering from the incident with Donald Duck)_

Bato: "Here, Sokka. Why don't we go on the Caterpillar ride?"

Sokka: _(whines) _"But it's for _BABIES_!"

Bato: "Sokka, let's just see how you do on this one, and THEN you can go on a big kid's ride. OK?"

Sokka: _(pouting)_ "Fine."

-----------------------

Zuko: _(flying on the roller coater, shooting down the drop, knuckles turning bright white from grasping seat so hard)_ "Please don't die…please don't die…"

-----------------------

Zhao: _(sneaking up to little kids and standing right behind them)_ "BOO!"

_(little kids go running and screaming in all directions)_

Zhao: _(cracking up)_ "Haahahahahaha! This is even better than I thought it would be!" _(sighs happily)_ "I love my life…"

-----------------------

Ozai: _(holding rubber duck up for all to see)_ "Together, we shall RULE THE WORLD! Ahahahahahahaaaa!"

_(men in white coats rush in with needles and a straightjacket)_

Leader: "Get 'im!"

Ozai: _(gets poked in the you-know-where with a needle, wobbles dangerously)_ "Tuesday's…applesauce day."

_(falls down, unconscious)_

Leader: "Well, that's a wrap-up, boys. Let's get him outa here."

_(gets taken off the scene)_

-----------------------

Iroh: _(hands still up in the air as they shoot upwards)_ "Whoo hoo! Isn't this fun, Prince Zuko?"

Zuko: _(coaster goes hurtling towards the ground at over 120 miles per hour)_ _"AAAGHHHHHHHHHH!"_

------------------------

Herbalist: _(running around crazily)_ "Ahahahahahahaaaa!"

_(little boy and mom watching crazy old herbalist)_

Little boy to his mother: "Mommy, why's that creepy old lady running around like that?"

Mother: "I don't know, but it's best to stay away from those kinds of people…"

----------------------

Bato: _(watches Sokka, who's screaming at the top of his lungs while riding the Caterpillar, which I might mention goes no faster than 5 miles per hour)_

_(ride ends and Sokka gets off)_

Bato: "Said that it was a little kiddie ride, did you? So why were you shrieking your head off?"

Sokka: _(cheeks turning red)_ "I was, uh…screaming for...joy?"

----------------------

Host: "Well, everybody escaped with their sanity relatively intact. _(glances at Herbalist, who's whizzing around with hands in the air)_ "…well, except for her, but we don't think that she even had it in the first place…"

_(Katara walks up, holding an unconscious Aang over her shoulder)_

Host: "What happened to him?"

Katara: "He fainted while getting stuffed in a porter potty with thirty other people. You know, lack of air to the brain?" _(makes hand motions)_

Host: _(making unreadable expression)_ "…riiiiggght. And, uh, where's Iroh and Zuko?"

_(everyone glances over to the distant duo)_

Iroh:_ (grinning happily)_ "Soooooo, you want to go again?"

Zuko: _(wearing horrified expression)_ "..._what_?"

Host: "Well, uh, thanks for watch-"

_(someone rushes up)_ "Wait!"

Host: "Who are you?"

Girl: _(wearing black tank and shorts)_ "Hiya, guys! I'm the host from What Happens! Just wanted to say a quick hello, and that I might be joining you in a future episode! Kay, bye!" _(runs of set)_

Host: _(a little confused as to what just happened) _"Anyways, uh, thanks for watching, and please, join us next time on TV's What If!"

* * *

For those of you who don't know, Kingda Ka is the world's most extreme roller coaster, going from 0 to 128 miles per hour (206 km/h) in 3.5 seconds, and goes 465 feet in the air! It's the fastest and most crazy coaster in the entire world.

Oh, and about the Donald Duck thing- I'm pretty much freaked out by anything wearing a mascot outfit (you can't see who's underneath the mask…duh duh DUH!) for the apple-sauce thing, I give credit to Fairly OddParents. It was just soooo GOOD; I _had_ to use it. Oh, credits to Star Wars Nut for the fab idea about rubber ducks, and thanks to Lensgirlfriend for letting me borrow her host character! And Luna45, I really DO promise that I'll use your idea- I just want to place it where it'll fit best. Maybe next eppie even, though I haven't figured out exactly what I'm gonna do for it. Ok, then! Cheerio!


	6. School Dilemma

Sorry I haven't updated in so long- I've had my costume to work on…and believe me, armor is HARD to make. (Oh, did I tell you guys that I'm dressing up like Zuko for Halloween? YAY!) Well, anyway, for this particular chappie, the host is going to check up on the guys more than twice- you'll see why. And, uh, Zhao's not in this one…he's taking a vacation…probably to some torture camp or somethin'…ya know, to learn more ways to humiliate Zuko…

Oh, I found this little quote on the internet: "A 4,000-year-old bowl of noodles has been discovered at an archaeological site in western China…"- remind you of anyone…?

More good news: I'm almost done with my Avatar website! Yippee! You guys can check it out once it's done- I need to know if there are mistakes, etc. or if you got any more ideas.

* * *

TV's What If?

Host: Hi again, everyone! Today, on What If, our question is…" _(opens up envelope)_ "'…What would happen if the cast of Avatar was sent to school for a day?' Well, let's get to a school and find out!"

Five minutes later…

Host: _(standing in front of school)_ "OK, here we are! Bob? Can you get the supplies?"

_(cart full of backpacks is wheeled into view)_

Host: "OK! Every one of you!" _(indicated Avatar characters)_ "Each one of you is going to get a backpack, filled with all the things you'll need for a normal day of school. Got it?"

_(everyone nods)_

Host: Now, you're all going to get schedules, telling you what classes you have and at what times. You are to follow these lists at all costs, and NO fooling around WHATESOEVER. Understood?"

_(everyone nods again)_

Host: "OK, everyone get a backpack."

_(everyone grabs a bag and steps back)_

Sokka: _(slouching under weight of pack)_ "Oh, this is _heavy_! What's in this thing anyway?"

Host: "OK! Off to your classes!"

-----------------------------

Aang: _(walking to biology class while looking in backpack)_ "Let's see…pencils…notebook….ooh, a cheese doodle!"

-----------------------------

Katara: _(sitting down in English class next to a "geek")_

Geek: _(moves toward her and adjusts glasses)_ "Hiya, toots. Name's Melvin. So, wanna sit on Daddy's lap?"

Katara: _(looking VERY disturbed)_ "………uhhhh…."

-----------------------------

Sokka: _(sitting in middle of a different English class, looking in backpack)_ "Let's see what's in here…" _(pulls out five math text books)_ "…" _(looks back at schedule, confused)_ "Wait a sec! I don't even have math!"

-----------------------------

Zuko: _(looking around, walking down hall, bumps into plump girl) _"Hey, watch where you're going!"

Girl: _(reaches up and swishes his ponytail) _"Well, hi there, cutie."

Zuko: _(backing away slowly)_ "Uhhhh…." _(runs, glancing at schedule, which says "Math", then looks in backpack: no math book)_ "Oh, great…"

------------------------------

Iroh: _(waddling to class)_ "I am hungry!" _(looks in backpack)_ "I wonder if there are any noodles stashed in here…"

------------------------------

Ozai: _(walking around in a straitjacket, straining on leash that the men in "white coats" are holding)_ "Hehehehe…school…full of children…unsuspecting children…"

------------------------------

Iroh: _(strolling around in the hallway, waiting for his first history class to begin)_ "Hmm hm hmm…" _(sees Jun and waves frantically)_ "Hi, Jun!"

Jun: _(groans)_ "Oh no. It's Uncle Happy…"

Iroh: _(still waving)_ "Jun! Oh, Juunnnnnn!"

------------------------------

Lieutenant Gi: _(sitting down in a chair in Spanish class)_

Teacher: "Buenos dias, clase."

Class: "Buenos dias, Sra. Torres Dias."

Teacher: _(sees Gi sitting the corner)_ "Ahhhhh, eres un estudiante nuevo?"

Gi: _(wearing a very befuddled expression)_ "Huh?"

------------------------------

Host: "Well, now that everyone is settled into their first period class, we can go and come back in about 45 minutes, when the class is over. See all of you then!"

------------------------------

45 minutes later…

Host: "OK, we're back! Let's see how everyone is doing in their class."

_(set peers into classroom doorway)_

-------------------------------

Aang: _(standing up at the board, talking about Appa and drawing a picture of him with likeness (you can actually tell that it's Appa he's drawing))_ "…and here are his horns…and here is his arrow…"

_(everyone is shaking their heads, unbelieving)_

One kid: _(excited, believing everything Aang's saying)_ "Oh my gosh! Really?"

Aang: "Yeah, of course!"

Another kid: "Puh! Yeah right! He's lying- there's no such thing as a ten-ton flying monster."

Aang: _(under his breath, narrowed eyes looking at the corner of the room) _"Yeah, that's what _Sokka_ thought…"

The unbelieving kid: "You are SUCH a liar! Those things aren't even real!"

_(Just then Appa pokes his enormous head through the classroom window)_

The unbelieving kid: _(jumps up from his seat, terrified)_ "AAAHHHHHH! IT'S REALLLL!"

The first kid: "Hah! IT'S REAL!"

Aang: _(grinning)_ "Told ya so…"

---------------------------

Katara: _(edging slowly away from geek as he tries to put moves on her)_

Geek: _(licking lips and making smooching faces)_ "Come to Papa, babe..."

Katara: _(horrified)_ "Ughh...you creep..."

Geek: _(lifts eyebrows)_ "Grrrrowlll...bebe..."

Katara: "SOKKA! HELP!"

---------------------------

Sokka: _(slouching in seat away from teacher)_

Teacher: _(stalking around classroom, peering over horn-rimmed glasses, sees Sokka hiding in his chair)_ "You there!"

Sokka: _(pulls himself as low as possible)_

Teacher: _(sees his pile of unneeded math books and nothing else)_ "You bad little boy! Not prepared for class? Off to the principal's office with you!"

Sokka: "…principal's office?"

Rest of class: "Ooooooooh…"

-----------------------------

Math teacher: "…well, then , since you don't have your math book, you can share with the girl sitting next to you."

Zuko: _(looks over his shoulder)_ "Oh no…"

Plumpy girl: _(giggles and waves fingers)_ "Hi there, ponytail. Eee hee!"

------------------------------

Teacher in history class: "…and then as a result of this, King Hammarabi created-" _(is interrupted by the sound of someone gurgling in their sleep)_

Iroh: _(snoring loudly)_

Teacher: _(taps foot) _"Ahemmmm…"

Iroh: _(wakes up)_ "Oh, uh…oops…"

------------------------------

Ozai: _(looking around evilly)_

White-coated guy to other guy: "How are we gonna restrain him if he gets out of control again?"

Other guy: _(smiles and holds up leash)_ "Don't worry- I got an _electric_ collar this time."

-------------------------------

Jun: _(slouches in seat as Iroh waves over at her from across the room)_ "I swear…"

Iroh: _(still making himself known)_ "Hi there, Jun? How is class going so far?"

Jun:_ (mumbling bad-temperedly under breath)_ "It'd sure be a lot better if your flaming, limp, corpulent body was hanging from a rope on the flagpole outside…"

Iroh: _(looks confused because he can't hear what she said, so just goes along with her)_ "Uh…right, Jun! I think that, too!"

--------------------------------

Host: "So, everything looks good so far, and uh, we'll be back at the end of the day to see where everything's gone. So see you then!"

--------------------------------

A few hours later…

Host: _(swiveling finger in ear, pulling it out and looking at what's stuck on the tip of it)_ "Wow…never knew how much junk was jammed in there…" _(sees that camera's on and immediately stops fooling around)_ "Oh, uh, hi! And we're back on What If! So, time to see how our characters are doing…"

---------------------------

Aang: _(sitting in front of class, watching intently as the language teacher deciphers classical Chinese)_

Teacher: "…and see this? This particular mark indicates that this is a verb…"

Aang: _(stands up)_ "Actually, it says that this is a 'present' verb, and not one in the past…"

Teacher: _(curious)_ "You read Chinese?"

Aang: "Well, yeah, of course. What other writing system is there?"

Teacher: _(realizes what he's saying)_ "Wait a second…" _(writes CAT on the board)_ "Can you read this?"

Aang: _(looking at word in a queer way)_ "Uhhhhhhh…did I mention that I'm a _new_ student?"

---------------------------

Katara: _(pleased that "Melvin" isn't in her gym class)_

_(Fat guy with pimples and B.O. waddles up)_

Pimple Boy: _(also licking lips)_ "So this is the babe Melvin was talking about..."

* * *

Sokka: (once again hiding in chair after getting back from principal's office) 

Teacher: (sees that he's not prepared) "Where are your books, young man?"

Sokka: (desperately looking for an excuse) "Uhhh, I left them at home?"

Teacher: (furiously) "Go to the principal's office!"

Sokka: (head collapses onto desk) "Not again…"

------------------------------

Zuko: _(sitting in English class, plumpy girl sitting alongside, babbling on about the most frivolous things…)_

Plumpy Girl: _(twirls hair and flits eyelashes)_ "…so my friends were like, "Yeah", and I was like, "Yeah"…and then they were like, "Totally…" "

Zuko: _(slaps self in face and groans)_

------------------------------

Iroh: _(standing up at board, giving lecture on Chinese proverbs, teacher watching, impressed)_ "…The crafty rabbit has three different entrances to its lair…this means that…"

Zuko: _(repeatedly bangs head against desktop)_

----------------------------

Ozai: _(leans over and attempts to fry the person sitting next to him with hands wrapped within the depths of his straitjacket)_

Guy in white coat: _(zaps him with electric collar)_

Ozai: _(getting electrocuted) _"Zzzzzzzzzzzz!"

Guy: "Don't try that again. Got it?"

Ozai: (_tries again ) (electricity)_ "ZZZZZZZZZZ!"

Guy: "I said, got it?"

Ozai: _(leans over for another attempt) (electricity)_ "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" _(static makes hair stand up, charges still pulsing through body)_ "Zzzz!……..Zzz!…..Zzzzz!..."

--------------------------

Jun: _(pulling herself down as much as possible as Iroh looks around the room for a volunteer)_

Iroh: _(sees Jun, grins)_ "Ah, Jun! Please come up to the front of the classroom so I can explain this proverb…'the man who continues to try and call the rain shall have the rain come and fertilize his fields…' this is what they mean; the one who continues to try will eventually succeed…for example…" _(leans over and tries to hug Jun)_

Jun: _(becomes officially freaked out and pushes him away forcefully)_

Iroh: "The proverb says that one who tries will some day get his way…" _(grins slyly)_

Jun: _(looks positively horrified)_

--------------------------

Teacher: _(looking around class, picks on Gi)_ "Como estas?

Gi: (_quickly flips through pages of English-Spanish, vice-versa dictionary)_ "Uhhh…yo estoy…muy…uh…bueno!"

Teacher: "iFabuloso! iQue un estudiante excelente!"

Gi: _(looking very pleased with himself)_ "Gracias…"

--------------------------

Host: "Well, that's all for today! We've had a great show, and as long as _that_ doesn't get loose…" _(glances at the crazed Ozai, who's desperately trying to claw at one of the passing children)_ "…we'll be all set. So, I hope you enjoyed this recent episode of What If! Good-bye, everybody!"

* * *

Ugh. Major writer's block. Seriously got problems with that. In the middle of the chapter, I totally bugged out and couldn't finish. Thankfully, my dreaded army of Plot Bunnies got to me, and I was able to finish. (The furbies, the lawn gnomes, Bob the Potato, the plot bunnies…I really DO have a lot of evil minions, don't I?) So I got to end the chappie, and all is well. (Hail the Plot Bunnies!) 

Big thanx goes out to:

1)Luna45 for her superb idea about mathbooks...

2)Kiki3 _and_ Zukoscute2 for the wonderful idea about sending them off to school!

If I forgot anyone, I'm super sorry; just tell me who and what I missed... (sorry, guys, I am SUPER tired.)

OK. For anyone who doesn't speak Spanish, here is the translation:

Buenos dias: good morning. Clase: class Eres un estudiante nuevo: Are you a new student? Como estas: How are you?Estoy muy bueno: I am very good. Fabuloso: Fabulous! (yeah, it's a cognate) Que un estudiante excelente: What an excellent student!

And just a heads-up for all you Avatar-crazed fans (myself included), new eppie on Friday! Whoo!


	7. Halloween Horrors

Well, I'm glad to be back! After all the Halloween craziness, (and the inspiring amount of reviews), I'm going to base this eppie on Halloween! I'm also having a shout-out at the end, to answer the multiple questions asked, and replying to all the wonderful reviews you guys gave me! So thanks again for all of them!

For a heads-up, there are going to be more people in this chapter, after all, it IS a Halloween-based one, and even the grouchiest of Avatar characters wouldn't want to miss out on the fun!

OK, The Northern Water Tribe was a fabulous episode! Even though it wasn't done by the better animator, this current one pulled it together to make a truly fantastic episode. And I absolutely adore Teo- he's a great character! I'll be using him in the next chapter, which will hopefully come out soon…

* * *

TV's What If?

Host: _(beaming happily) _"Hi, and welcome to the seventh…can you believe it...SEVENTH episode of TV's What If! For today, in honor of October's holiday, we're going to send the cast of Avatar off trick-or-treating!" _(cast casting looks at one another)_ "Each one of them is going to get his/her very own costume, complete with a pillow case or bag to collect candy in. So, here are the costumes." _(motions to rack of concealed outfits, being pushed into view)_ "Thank you, Bob. So, everyone grab a costume!"

_(shuffling in the background, camera switches to characters peering curiously at costume in bag)_

Host: "Everyone, see what costume you got! As soon as you all put them on, you're ready to go trick-or-treating!"

--------------------------

Aang: _(unwraps costume and is delighted to find a Big Daddy outfit, complete with purple leopard-skin hat and chains)_ "Hey, cool! This is gonna be fun!" _(slides on costume, sees how baggy and big it is on him)_ "Ooh, maybe this isn't gonna work out…"

--------------------------

Katara: _(holds up a vampire costume)_ "Well, uh…" _(glances at Aang, who's rolling around in his oversized Big Daddy outfit)_ "…at least it'll going to fit…"

-------------------------

Sokka: (pulls out a clown costume fit for someone the size of a monkey) "OK. Seriously. You don't expect me to actually _fit_ in this……right?"

_(silence from everyone)_

Sokka: "Oh, come ON! I'm takin' another costume."_(manages to tug out one of those inflatable sumo wrestler outfits and slips it on, confused)_ "Uhhhh…."

_(Host comes over and turns fan on, costume slowly inflates)_

Sokka: _(shocked at now huge costume)_ "What the heck…?"

-------------------------

Zuko: _(fumbling with a chubby penguin outfit, obviously not happy with his choice of costume)_ "I hate my life…"

-----------------------

Iroh: _(looking at a very small Mr. Peanut costume with top hat and cane)_ "Does anyone want to trade? I'm sure that I will not be able to manage this…"

Aang: _(motioning to overly large Big Daddy outfit, hat lopsided)_ "How about this?"

Iroh: _(beaming)_ "Ah, of course! Perfect!" _(tosses peanut costume to Aang, who throws B.D. clothes back)_

Zuko: _(from inside the fat penguin costume)_ "Uncle, I already told you! No interacting with the Avatar! If my father caught you…"

Iroh: _(already in the costume, necklaces on and everything, whispering back at Zuko, shifty eyes)_ "But the nice men in white coats already brought him back to the clinic…you should know that…"

Zuko: _(under breath, looking away)_ "Yeah, of course…they wanted to bring me back, too, just in case insanity ran in the family…"

-----------------------

Chey: _(already standing in a disco outfit)_ "Hey, what can I say? Compared to the other costumes…" _(glancing quickly at Sokka and Zuko)_ "…this one's great!"

----------------------

Jeong Jeong: _(furious at grabbing the backend part of a two-person horse costume) _"Argh! What nonsense is this? I refuse to be seen in such a ridiculous costume!"

---------------------

Aunt Wu: _(holding the front end of the horse outfit, looking at Jeong Jeong and smiling)_ "Well, hello there, handsome. It appears that we're going together."

Iroh: _(from background)_ "Hey! I thought _I_ was the handsome one!"

---------------------

Momo: _(holding the adorable little monkey-sized clown costume in little furry hands)_ "Hey! Now I'm gonna look like Sokka did in episode 3!"

Sokka: _(in background, costume puffed up almost to the point that he looks like a giant marshmallow with a thong)_ "Grrrrr…"

---------------------

Jun: _(holding a Catwoman outfit disdainfully, sticks it on)_ "…ugh…"

Iroh: _(whistles)_ "Jun, you look absolutely splendid in that-"

Jun: "Can it, fattie!"

Iroh: _(shrugs and leans over to the newly "penguinized" Zuko)_ "I was going to say that she looks quite the vixen…"

Zuko: _(slaps self in face)_ "Uncle, she's practically MY age! Why don't you go and date someone who's…old, like you?"

Iroh: _(pats belly)_ "Prince Zuko, you know I don't care about age…plus younger women make me feel, uh…_energized_…"

Zuko: _(making incredibly disgusted face)_ "You- younger women- _energized_…_ (can't express himself, drags hands down face)_ "…that is so gross…"

----------------------

Host: _(dressed up as a pirate)_ "Well, I think we're all ready to go trick-or-treating, and later, a trip to a haunted house!"

Sokka: _(gulps)_ "…haunted…?"

Katara: _(smirking in vampire outfit) _"What's wrong, Sokka? Scared?"

Sokka: _(waves hand to the side) _"Me? Puh- no way! I'm just…uh, worried about your safety!"

Aang and Katara: "Riiiiiiight…"

Host: "So, it's about time to start. So everyone, go!"

-----------------------

Aang: _(walks up to house in peanut costume with bag in hand)_

_(door opens, and old lady hobbles out)_

Old Lady: "Oh, what an adorable costume you have! I'm sure you'd like some candy! What a handsome young man you are!" _(pinches Aang's cheek)_

Aang: _(having face squeezed)_ "Uh, yeees, ma'am…I would leeeke some candee pleeese."

Old Lady: _(old fingers still latched on to Aang's cheeks)_ "Awww, you are such a polite young man, too! When I was younger, I knew a boy who…"

Aang: _(through the cheek-squeezing and old-lady babbling)_ "_This_ is gonna take a while…"

----------------------

Katara: _(snickering as she watches Sokka waddle down the street)_ "God, I should take pictures or _something_…"

_(guy swaggers up)_

Guy: _(giggles and snorts)_ "Hiya, toots. Miss me?"

Katara: _(realizes who it is that's speaking to her, and whispers to herself)_ "Oh no. It's _Melvin_."

----------------------

Sokka: _(waddling around in sumo costume, sees house)_ "Ooh, finally! Candy!" _(starts to run up when three big guys walk in front of him)_

Leader of gang: "Hey. Where'd ya think you're goin', Ponytail?"

Sokka: _(backs up)_ "Hey, move outa the way! I have candy to collect!"

Leader: _(steps up)_ "Yur not goin' anywhere." _(holds up Jalapeno hot-sauce and hot cheetos) _"First you gotta taste this. And this." _(smirks to other guys)_ "Unless you're _scared_."

Sokka: "No way! I'm not gonna try that! I don't even know what that is!"_ (glances at other boys)_ "And I'm not scared."

Leader: _(Making 'scaredy-cat' face)_ "Awwwww, Ponytail's scared! Buck buck! Chicken! Chicken!" _(other gang members start walking around, flapping and clucking)_

Sokka: _(very frustrated)_ I am NOT a chicken! Gimme that!" _(snatches hot sauce and spicy cheetos out of Leader's hands, gulps both down at the same time)_ "…" _(face gets beet-red)_

Leader: _(leans in)_ "So… how do you feel?"

Sokka: _(silence, then:) "AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"_ Hot! HOT! HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!" _(runs around in circles, furiously fanning mouth with both hands)_

_(gang is doubling over with laughter)_

Leader: _(still laughing)_ "Hahaha! Now, get outa here!"

Sokka: _(starts waddling quickly away in sumo costume, recovering from spiciness)_

_(one gang member reaches over and snaps thong, Sokka goes running away hurriedly)_

Leader: _(laughing even harder)_ "Haahahahahahaa! What a sucker!"

--------------------------

Zuko:_ (sulking around, brooding)_

_(group of little kids come running over and attach themselves to his leg)_

Little kids: "Mister Penguin! You're the best! We love you!"

Zuko: _(trying to pry them all off of him)_ "Argh! Get OFF!"

_(Host comes jogging over and whispers to Zuko)_

Host: "Uh…did I forget to mention that Mr. Penguin is a _very_ popular children's TV program character?"

Zuko: _(standing there with a peculiar expression on his face while kids hug his knee)_ "………"

---------------------------

Iroh: _(strolling around in Big Daddy costume, whistling, spots house)_ "I believe I should start this business of, uh…_trick-or-treating_ there." _(walks up to house)_

_(person sitting on steps holds bowl of candy)_

Iroh: _(beaming cheerfully)_ "Trick or treat!"

Person: "OK then!" _(sprays Iroh with silly string)_

Iroh: _(stands there for a second, then starts laughing)_ "Ahhhh, I get it now! I get a trick…or a treat! Ha ha ha! Very amusing…"

Person: "…actually, y_ou're_ supposed to trick _me_ if I don't give you candy."

_(awkward silence)_

Iroh: "….oh."

---------------------------

Chey: _(looking around while walking down the street)_ "I wonder where we're supposed to get this candy…" _(big wig gets blown off his head and goes flying away)_ "Ooh, hope insurance covers that…"

---------------------------

Jeong Jeong: _(inside the horse costume)_ "This is absurd! Just give it to me!"

Aunt Wu: "No! Not until you give me back mine!" _(suddenly backs up)_

Jeong Jeong:"Ooooww! That was my FOOT!" _(more movement inside horse)_ "OWWW!"

Aunt Wu: "And THAT was my hand!"

Jeong Jeong: "Do not anger me! You do not want to see a firebender when he is angry!"

Aunt Wu: "Is that supposed to scare me?"

Jeong Jeong: "I want it NOW!"

Aunt Wu: Fine, just take it! But I want mine back!"_ (throws something at Jeong Jeong, who throws something back)_

Aunt Wu: "Finally! My cloud-reading book!"

Jeong Jeong: "Finally! My salt-water taffy!"

-------------------------

Momo: _(scurrying down the street)_ "Hmmm hm hmmm…"

Little kids: "lookie, a clown!" _(all run over and see what Momo really is)_

One kid: "Is that a monkey?"

Another kid: "Who cares? He's got candy!"

Momo: "You can only have my candy if I get something, too."

One boy: _(digs in pockets furiously and pulls out a dead beetle)_ "How 'bout this?"

Momo: "Perfect!" _(pops dead bug in mouth)_ _Crunch. Crunch crunch_.

Little kids: "Ewwwwww…" _(all pull out dead bugs and stuff)_ "Can ya eat this?"

Momo: "Sure!" _(throws candy out to all of them, they hand over the bugs, walk away, and Momo is left to enjoy a nice big pile of deceased insects)_ "Ahhhh, this is the life!"

------------------------

Host: "Well, we're back! And it's time to head on over to the haunted house!" _(everyone starts walking)_

Aang: "So, Katara, how much candy did you get?"

Katara: _(glancing from right to left in vampire outfit)_ "I don't know, I dropped it all so that Melvin kid would stop following me and pick it up…"

_(figure starts running toward both of them)_

Melvin: "Hey baby, wait for me!"

Katara: "Oh no! Come on!" _(grabs Aang's arm and starts running)_

Melvin: _(running insanely after them)_ "Hey toots! I got your candy!"

------------------------

Aang: _(looking around inside haunted house) _"I don't understand…what's supposed to be scary about a bunch of dead guys?"

_(Momo comes flying out of nowhere and latches onto Aang's head)_

Aang: "Aaaaaggghhhh! Momo, let GO! I'm not a nut!"

------------------------

A few moments later…

Host: "Hmmm…I wonder where everyone is…

_(a peanut figure with hat and cane comes zipping out of haunted house, followed by vampire, penguin, disco person, Big Daddy, and two-person horse costume not far behind)_

Zuko: _(running as fast as he can in the penguin outfit, little kids still clasped onto his leg)_ "Uncle, let's get out of here!"

Iroh: "My thoughts exactly! Come, Jun!"

Jun: _(stops and raising outstretched hands to the sky)_ "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

----------------------

Aang: "Aaaaagghhhhhh! This place really IS haunted!"

Katara: _(running)_ "Hey, where'd Sokka go?"

Sokka: _(inflatable sumo wrestler costume is caught on door)_ "Aaaaghhhhh! It's coming after me! Someone help!"

Katara: _(turns around)_ "Hold on Sokka, I'm coming!" _(unlatches Sokka from door when big black hairy thing comes stumbling out)_

Sokka: _(picks up sumo costume and starts running awkwardly)_ "Let's get outa here!"

Aunt Wu: _(inside horse costume) _"I didn't see _that_ coming!"

Jeong Jeong: "I bet you did not! Hey…this thing moves pretty fast!"

_(black thing comes waddling faster after them)_

Aunt Wu: "Well, it doesn't move _that_ fast, so pick it up, slowpoke! That horse butt doesn't move itself, you know!"

_(distorted horse costume gradually stumbles away)_

_(Hairy thing covered in black shiny strings runs into a wall and falls over, revealing Melvin, dazed)_

Melvin: _(rubbing head and straightening glasses)_ "Man, I GOTTA stop getting caught in those haunted house confetti curtains…"

-------------------------

Host: _(scratching bandana-ed head)_ "…what was THAT about?"

Katara: _(panting)_ "Some maniac in a black stringy costume came running after us…"

_(something big and black goes sailing over Aang's head)_

Aang: _(takes advantage of scary situation)_ _(pretends to be frightened and jumps into Katara's arms)_ "Aaaaaagggghhhh! Katara, CATCH ME!"

Katara: _(grabs Aang just before he hits the ground)_

Iroh: _(also takes advantage and jumps for Jun)_ "Jun, CATCH ME!"

_-THUMP-_

Iroh: "Ow…"

----------------------

Katara: "Aang, are you alright?"

Aang: _(curled up in Katara's arms)_ "I'm alright _now_…"

_(both start blushing madly)_

Katara:_ (sets Aang on ground)_ "…well, OK…"

---------------------

Host: _Looking quite disconcerted and confused)_ "OooooooK…that was weird, well, anyway…thanks to all of you for watching this episode of What If!"

* * *

Well, hope you enjoyed!

I think I'm going to make a little collection of my own made-up bloopers and stuff like that from Avatar…I only have three right now, but as soon as more come up, I'll post them right away, so be sure to check them out! I'll be calling it "Avatar's Funniest Moments" or something along those lines…

For a little sneak peek at future eppies, I plan to use as many ideas as I can that you guys have mentioned in your reviews! So watch for them! The thing is, there are so many ideas that I hardly know what to do with them! But I do promise to try using as many as I can...

Shout out:

Blaze83: So glad to hear it! And the furbies _were_ your idea!

Lensgirlfriend: Thanks for reviewing!

Eleana Galad: Thanks for reviewing!

Jade Tealeaf: That is a great idea! I'll definitely consider using it!

Sulana Jay: Glad you liked it! I worked my butt off trying to make it funny…believe me, it's a lot harder than it seems…

KoiKitten: Hmmm…very interesting idea. I could use it!

Zukoscute2: Wow. You inner devil seems very logical…heehee…anyways, love your idea! I might even zap Ozai again…hehe…just for some amusement…

Sokkaismyhomeboy: My pleasure! Ooh, that would be a really funny episode…I always pictured Katara as the mystery-involved one…

Foxtail Inferno: You know what? My friend thought of that physiatrist idea right after I got yours…and she doesn't even go on Fanfiction! You guys think a lot alike…all of your suggestions sound pretty good! Hope you liked how I incorporated the Cheetos into the chappie! By the way, I haven't seen/read Naruto. Is it good?

The-3-Amigos: Hehe…I could get Bush and Ozai to come up with crazy messed-up plans for taking over the word…if you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the biggest Bush fan…nor am I a Democrat. I just pick whoever I think would do the best job of helping our country. (Bush practically started the war in my eyes…and did you know? Before 9/11, The White House guys knew that something bad was going to happen, but Bush just waved the idea aside…)

What if Fan: Hope you liked how I weaved your idea into the fray!

I Have A Pharaoh In My Mind: Hi- haven't heard from you in a while! Thanks a ton for the review! Hope you liked my way of using your idea! I wanted to stick Zuko in a ballet costume, I really did, but as a dancer myself (no kidding, seriously) I thought it would be a little too mean- he'd have to wear tights, pointe shoes (those things can crush your toes! Believe me, I know) and the entire costume itself…plus it rides up in a certain area, too…don't want Zuko getting a rash _there_, do we?

Sonamyfan: Thanks a ton for reviewing!

Bluefirestar: That's a great idea! I'll use it! With nap-time and everything!

Chickygurl: Congrats! Yours was the nicest review I've gotten in a while. You have a hilarious idea, I'd be more than happy to use it!

Oh, yeah, I'm in tenth grade, happy to have helped with studying! Oh, I saw the episode, The Northern Air Temple! IT was fabulous, a truly magnificent episode, and I adore Teo! He's pretty cool! I'll probably use him in the next chapter…

Oh, no way! The finale's one HOUR LONG? That is so awesome! That means one full hour of sitting and staring at the TV (probably with a side of drool)…

You'll be the first to know when I set up my site! I can't wait 'til I can actually post it…it's a HUGE website, with info about almost everything! The backgrounds are all different, and I used only the most accurate of info, so I'm really pumped up about getting it up on the web.

Akira: Hmmm…that might work out…I could have a few "minor" conflicts going on, like between Zuko and Katara about where to eat, etc. and maybe someone could throw spaghetti at Sokka because he wasn't exactly polite…hehe….so evil…

Delta Flyer: I might be able to do that…hmmm...see, for the next one, I want to add the Northern Water Tribe Princess, Teo, and the Waterbender Master.

Airnomadperson: So glad you enjoyed it! Hahaha; your insanely crazy laughter had me laughing! Haha…and yeah, I am as evil as Donald Duck…heehee!

* * *

Really, I am sooooo sorry for holding you guys up so long! I really didn't mean to, it's just that I have so much on my plate, with the –Blank- Youth Symphony (can't tell, it gives away the state I live in), fencing, dance, and every other crazy thing I have to do in this crazy excuse for a life! Plus I'm trying to work on a videogame that I'm making…long story, really, but there are gonna be dragons in it and other things that I've created…it's pretty cool, I just hope I get the chance to one day publish and sell it in a videogame store…but anyway, I really hope to get the next one posted a little earlier…

Oh, my dad's coming to shut down the computer! AAAAGHHHHH!…see you guys later!


	8. Mall Madness

OK, first off, I have an extremely important announcement: -cough- ZHAO IS DEAD! YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY! –cough- That is all.

Anyways, sorry about not updating, folks; I have a busy life. Can't help it. But truly, I am reallllly sorry…: (I just hope the waiting was worth it; I spent so long working on this one….I think that I'm going to write little updates on my Profile page, just so you guys know what's happening...well, enjoy!

* * *

TV's What If

Host: _(standing in front of a mall, grinning)_ "Welcome back to TV's hottest new show of What If, where the cast of Avatar is given tasks or items to work with! Today, we're sending them to the Danbury Mall, where they will be given gift certificates and let loose…so to speak. Then we'll all meet for lunch in the Food Court. Bob?"

_(gift certificates magically _N.A. Oh, who am I kidding?_ appear on set, everyone is given one)_

-------------------------

Aang: _(walking around mall, looking around, sees ToysR'Us)_ "Ooh! Fun!" _(zips into store with certificate in hand, stops and sees how many toys there are) (eyes get huge)_ "So this is Heaven…."

------------------------

Katara: _(looking around, sees water fountain, runs over and crouches on the edge)_ "Wow…look at all the pennies…"

Security Guard: _(comes running over and takes her by the arm)_ "No, no, miss!" _(points finger)_ "The bathrooms are _that_ way!"

------------------------

Sokka: _(walks into store and out, humming)_ "Hmm mm mmmm….wonder if any of these places have boomerangs…"

Security Guard: _(comes running out of nowhere and grabs Sokka)_ "Sorry, sonny, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Sokka: _(confused)_ "I didn't do anything!"

Security Guard: _(drags Sokka by the arm)_ "Yeah. Tell that to the Judge…"

Sokka: _(looking positively horrified)_ "-_Gulp_- …Judge?"

-----------------------

Zuko: _(walking alongside Iroh)_

Iroh: _(stops walking, stares into a store)_

Zuko: _(sees that Iroh is looking into Victoria's Secret, quickly clamps a hand over Iroh's and his own eyes)_ "Uncle!" _(pulls Iroh away from store)_ "Uncle, what has gotten into you?" _(takes hand off face)_

Iroh: _(looking thoughtful)_ "I wonder if I should go get Jun something from there…"

Zuko _(absolutely horrified)_ "…Uncle?"

-----------------------

Pakku: _(glaring at certificate)_ "Lousy show-hosts…like ten stinking dollars is going to get me anything…"

-----------------------

Appa: _(lounging about in the middle of the mall, people staring cautiously)_ "_Munch_, _munch_…"

Lady: _(sobbing hysterically to security officer)_ "Where did my child go? He was wearing a faux fur coat and-"

Appa: _(stops chewing)_ "…child? I thought it was a fuzzy cheese doodle or something…"

------------------------

Momo: _(hanging from ceiling, holding various citrus fruits while people run around screaming below him)_ "Heehee… THAT'S RIGHT! I AM THE MIGHTY LEMUR! FEEL MY LEMONY WRATH!" _(hurls lemons down at people)_ "Finally, now I know how Zhao felt that whole time with the ice-cream…"

-------------------------

Zula: _(grinning evilly as people walk past her)_ "Now it is time to avenge my father…and this mall is the perfect place to start. Innocent, unsuspecting little children walking around without their parents…hehe…"

-------------------------

One hour later…

Host: _(scratches butt furiously) _"Man, I GOTTA start using baby powder more often…"_ (sees that camera is on)_ "Oh, uh…whoops…hehe…well, it's, uh, time for lunch. So let's meet everyone in the food court!"

_(miraculously appears in Food Court)_ "Let's see what's goin' on."

-----------------------

Aang:_ (holding a big bag of toys and looking thoughtfully at the McDonald's menu)_ "Hmmm…"

Worker: _(leans over and looks at Aang)_ "Would you like a Kiddie Meal?"

Aang: _(insulted)_ "I'm not a kiddie!"

Worker: _(leans in closer)_ "It comes with a free toy…"

Aang: _(perks up)_ "Toy? Well, come to think of it, I'm not THAT old…"

---------------------

Katara: _(leans over counter at Subway's)_ "Yeah, I'd like a-"

Security Guard: _(runs up and takes her away)_ "I told you already, miss! Bathrooms are THAT way!"

Katara: _(protesting)_ "But I didn't even-!"

Security Guard: _(looks closely at her)_ "I know you had to go to the bathroom before, but if you needed a _Barf_ Bag, you could have just asked."

---------------------

Sokka: _(successfully snuck back into the mall and is eyeing a Mexican menu)_ "I'd like to try the Jalapeno pepper sauce, with, uh, tacos?"

Worker: _(in an extremely nasal voice)_ "Here is your food, sir."

Sokka: _(digs hands into sauce and eats it)_ "Mmmmm…" _(Jalapeno sauce starts to take effect)_ "Oh my god! Not again- Hothothothothothothot!" _(furiously fans mouth while looking around desperately)_ "Need…water….hothot…water…"

Security Guard: _(grabs Sokka by the scruff of his neck)_ "Ah hah! I've got you now, little delinquent boy! There's no escaping this time!" _(tosses Sokka outside)_

Sokka: _(bangs on glass desperately, face becoming beet red)_ "Please! I need water! WATER!"

-------------------

Zuko: _(sips Coke, stops, then slams fist down on table angrily)_ "I wanted DIET!"

-------------------

Iroh: _(hums something, then leans over to Zuko)_ "Prince Zuko, I made up a new song! Care to hear it?"

Zuko: _(sucking on straw, which now contains DIET coke because the workers were so afraid of him that they ran over and gave him a new drink)_ "No."

Iroh: "OK, then!" _(starts howling)_ "Ohhhh, Jun, Jun, Juuuu-uuuuu-"

Zuko _(clamps hands over ears)_ "Uncle, be quiet!"

--------------------

Pakku: _(waiting around impatiently while Food people fix him his decaf latte)_ "So when is this drink going to be finished? At this rate, you'll have enough latte to satisfy a flea by the time I'm 80."

---------------------

Aang: _(munching on his Kiddie meal while zooming a little toy car around the table)_ "Hey, Appa boy, you hungry?"

Appa: "I had lunch."

Aang: "Really? Oh, did you hear? Some little kid in a furry coat's gone missing."

Appa: "Yeah, I heard…" _(violently coughs up large hairball the size of a small child)_

Aang: _(silence)_ "Um, Appa, what _exactly_ did you have for lunch?"

Appa: "Uh…hehe…let's just say it was full of protein…"

---------------------

Momo: _(still hanging from rafter)_ "Hmmm, I always wondered what a lemon tasted like…" _(takes bite)_ "…" _(EXTREME LEMONY PUCKER)_ "…I can't…move my…face…."

---------------------

Zula: _(hiding behind a column while little kids pass, taking the first bite out of an anchovy)_ "Uggghhh…-_Cough- _….oh…_-Gag_-…oh, that's gross…"

---------------------

Host: _(eating a sandwich) _"Well…-_Munch-_ …that's about all! Join us next week on TV's What If!"

* * *

Mwuahahahahahaha! I feel so evil; I get to do anything I want to these poor characters…hahaha...it feels so good…POWER COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Well, again, I'm really sorry about not being able to update; please forgive me; I've been extremely busy; I mean, who can blame me? I'm in High School! Just don't expect any new ones too soon, unless I crack down on my work and get to doing this. I know this is a very short chapter, but I hope it was good! Normally, I don't think anything I write is really funny, but _I_ even cracked up when I re-read it. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did.

Oh, and for all of you people who believed I was wrong when I said I had a feeling that Yue was gonna be the sacrifice, HA! I was right, you were wrong, nanananana! Sorry, just HAD to rub that in. No one believed me when I said it, but it turned out I was RIGHT! So HA, beat that:P

It's weird, whenever I say I have a "feeling" that something is gonna happen, it always does. Like, when I first saw Zula, I kept saying, "That HAS to be Zuko's sister. And no one believed me! But look, I was right!

Oh, just for you Anti-bush people (and everyone else), it turns out that Bush is literally one of the least-liked Presidents in history! Not kidding; there was a survey that proclaimed that he was one. No offence to Republicans whatsoever… (In fact, most of my friends are Republican and they hate Bush's guts right now. Go figure.)

Special thanks to:

Zukoscute2, for the great idea about the mall…

Koikitten, for the idea about McDonalds and stuff…

And Amberhawk, because of her hilariously funny and nice reviews that made my day when I was feeling crummy…

P.S. Sokkasgirl, I know you sister! Hahahaha! She's cool…

Anyways, I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving, and I hope all of you had a chance to watch the finale, which in my opinion, turned out excellent. And if I don't get to update before Hanukah and Kwanza and Christmas and Rhome don, I wish you a very happy Whatever-you-celebrate! Bye!


	9. Notice

Hi guys! I know I haven't updated in like….forever, but I will be reallllly soon! You guys just gotta wait for a little longer; I'm actually going to try writing the next eppie today…maybe I can get it up later! Thanks so much for all the inspiring messages telling me to get my lazy butt up and write….(haha), and the next one goes out to all you guys who didn't give up on me….I promise to post soon! See ya….

Dragonsfire

P.S. If you guys can think up any good questions to ask the cast of Avatar, or some dare or something, please let me know! (The next episode is more of an audience-participant kinda one). Thanks!


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